SHE’S UP ALL NIGHT TO GET LUCKY
JK, I’m not up all night to get lucky. WOWEE, DID I FOOL YOU. I just made that my blog post title because GQ UK made that their title on the Harry Styles cover and then 1,000 tweens lost their shit. So that’s the buzz in tween land! Also, that dear 19-year-old child is being quoted as saying “It’s less than 100″ and I want to be like I would actually be very impressed if it were MORE than 100 because like, where did you even find the time, Harry? Also, that means it’s like 51-99 because otherwise he would have said less than 50 and I can’t believe I’m thinking about this so much but GOD. I want to be a pop star. So many makeouts.
Speaking of being creepy over musicians, I went to a music festival the other day and DEAR, SWEET Justin Townes Earle was there and boy, he sure does know how to wear pants. We had “all access” passes, so we were able to stand on the stage for his performance, and luckily it started to pour and his show got cut short because then I got to just stand there a few feet away from him while he drawled on and on in his perfect little Southern accent. He was probably talking about cornbread and banjos or something, IDEK. And THEN he got all wet and I know this is starting to sound like a porno so bear with me but then he got all wet and had to take his shirt off and his little 6’6″ frame was hunched over in the middle of this stage trying to change and I was just standing there like the creepy human that I am, trying not to openly stare. IDK MAN, LIKE I’VE SAID 1 MILLION TIMES, I’m a sucker for a guitar-playin’ man with long legs in stupid idiot boots. MY KRYPTONITE. (Spoiler alert: that’s the 3 Doors Down vid for “Kryptonite” and it’s delightful.)
Also, on Saturday I went to a very, very different music experience and got to interview Riff Raff (spoiler alert #2: I do NOT have a crush on him), which was fine, and then we got to also interview Dillon Francis who I had never listened to before but who I fell in love with because he was either a very good actor or like Really Legitimately Happy that we brought him a cat-print button down and a cat tie and after that I was totes picturing our wedding on top of a mountain. So I guess you can also add “cat loving DJs” to the list of men that I will pay attention to.
In short, I GUESS I JUST LOVE EVERYONE???? Like, apparently unless you’re Riff Raff, I will creepily stare at you and think you’re super cute.
What else. I don’t know what brought this blog post on. I fell into a pretty deep Facebook hole earlier and was just looking at people I used to know like, buying houses and stuff and I was like “FUCK THAT” and grabbed a beer and started thinking about musicians instead. Maybe when my beard is long and gray and I can look back fondly on my 20s as distant memories then I’ll be ready to settle down and buy a house, but that’s not going to be for a good long while. I’M NOT READY! FOREEEEVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOR-EVVVER YOUNG. DO U RLY WANT 2 LIVE FOREVER. Yeah, the answer is yes. I do. (You’re welcome for all the relevant links, BTW. Someone linked me to that video the other day because Rashida Jones is almost 40 and can you believe it? Lemme sip on whatever witchcraft juice she’s been sippin’ on that keeps her as youthful as a teenager.)
And like, also I spent the last 3 days watching Orange is the New Black from the moment I got home until the moment I went to sleep. How would I do that if I had to like, mow the lawn or something? : – (
I’m sweating. I’M DONE. GET ME A MILLER LITE, Y’ALL.